Tape Delayed No More?

Golfobserver's Peter McCleery analyzes NBC's Ryder Cup telecast, focusing his criticism on the outdated nature of tape-delay coverage in the Internet era. He says sucked the life out of the Friday/Saturday telecasts here in the States, and I would agree. But even on tape, NBC could have done better...

If you're going to tape everything, use the time more wisely. As it was, there was 20 minute of nonaction to fill on Saturday, and the 20 minutes before that featured only one match still in progress.

Might NBC suggest that they didn't have enough time to edit the dreadfully slow morning four-balls, even though we know they did based on those tacky Rolex clocks decorating each tee?

Anyway, McCleery concludes: 

Here's hoping this is the last tape-delayed Ryder Cup ever and the last walkover in a while. The PGA and NBC have another four years to figure it all out. That's twice the time that the American players have. It should be enough to finally get this thing right.

They just had two years since the last Cup to devise an Internet strategy for this year's event, announcing the exclusive online coverage the day before the matches started.

However, there may be hope for U.S. viewers when the matches are played at Celtic Manor in 2010. It has been rumored that Friday Ryder Cup play may be spread out over two days (like the Presidents Cup). This would allow for 1 p.m. tee times on new host network ESPN, meaning a respectable start time in the east coast. And of course, we know that's all that matters.

This would also allow for a 10 or 11 a.m. start at Valhalla, allowing European viewers to go to bed at decent hour.

However, a Thursday start still doesn't solve the Saturday-on-NBC issue. And of course, we know that's all that matters.

Ryder Cup Clippings, Final Edition

Lots of great coverage, so let the celebration (and questions) begin:

Lawrence Donegan in The Guardian:

The Americans arrived in Dublin as underdogs, played like underdogs and will be cast as underdogs for as long as the likes of Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson fail to produce their true form in the context of a team event. Indeed, so one-sided was the contest that at times during yesterday's session of 12 singles matches it seemed the impossible was on the cards - a Ryder Cup without drama.

Fortunately there was enough raw emotion in the air to ensure the day will live long in the memory. Woosnam's victory address will not trouble the compilers of the Oxford Book of 21st Century Speeches but the much-derided Welshman showed a wonderful touch when he sent Clarke out in the seventh tie of the day. Four points ahead overnight, Europe needed 4½ points to win the trophy. This left the Irishman, whose wife Heather died from breast cancer six weeks ago, with the maximum chance of delivering the ending the home crowd and his team-mates so desperately wanted.

Doug Ferguson summarizes each of the singles matches if, God forbid, you want to relive the rout.

Gary Van Sickle on SI.com:

This was the best Ryder Cup because -- and Darren Clarke is going to hate this sentence -- it was all about Darren Clarke. This Ryder Cup belonged to him -- no, it was for him, although he'd be embarrassed by your attention and feel uneasy about your sympathy. Clarke deserved this Ryder Cup week and maybe, if not probably, he needed it. Ryder Cups are always thick with emotion, but there's never been one this emotional.

David Feherty on Golfonline:

You can bet half your ass the American players always care about the event and each other, and bet the other cheek on the fact that this carousel will come around. It will come around even quicker if all fans of American golf get behind it and push.

Moving into the "what-to-do-next" division, Scott Michaux in the Augusta Chronicle offers a few thoughts, but first he has to get this off his chest:

The only thing more embarrassing than the final result was DiMarco fist-pumping his birdie on the 17th hole that extended his match with Lee Westwood. His comeback effort from five down with seven to go against a player who was ill overnight and carrying a fever on the course was meaningful only to himself. It was like doing a dance after a sack with your team trailing by seven touchdowns. Hitting two balls in the water on the 18th was his just reward.

The Golf Gazette's Ken Carpenter offers his suggestions for turning things around on the U.S. side.

Have you ever seen wives and girlfriends jumping on the pile after a team wins the World Series? No. Do significant others wear matching “uniforms” at an NFL game? No. Do NBA organizations allow wives and girlfriends to travel on the team plane? Rarely, if ever. Do significant others march into an Olympic stadium during the opening ceremonies? Never.

There were reports last week that the wives were in the USA’s team room when captain Tom Lehman was addressing the troops. Has Bill Belichick ever invited the girls into the Super Bowl locker room? Yeah, right . . .

And...

Motivate Mickelson: If Phil Mickelson wants to “shut it down” after the PGA Championship every year, then he should give up his spot on the team and go to the beach. In the last two Ryder Cups he’s 1-7-1; in the last two Presidents Cups he’s 3-5-2 — that’s an abysmal 4-12-3 record, totally unacceptable for someone annually ranked in the top three in the world. In 2008, Mickelson needs to play his way into shape prior to the event — assuming he isn’t fully retired by that point.

ESPN.com's Gene Wojciechowski weighs in on the what-to-do-about-the-U.S. subject, as does AP's Jim Litke, who talks to Michael Jordan about what ails America.

James Lawton in the Independent says the Americans need to start playing better or the Ryder Cup will be diminished.

The truth, and it is a bitter one for anyone embracing the idea that the Ryder Cup has a format and a tradition that makes it one of the great jewels of the sporting universe, is that the long months of hype, the millions of euros of investment, delivered something rather less than glittering. What was forthcoming was not a serious collision of some of the most talented and best rewarded sportsmen in the world but another day when the blue of Europe covered the scoreboard almost as though it was spilling from a can of paint. It meant that those who believed the humiliation inflicted on the United States in Michigan two years ago would concentrate the collective mind of an American team boasting four major winners - Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, David Toms and Jim Furyk against Europe's one, Jose Maria Olazabal - to make a real contest this time were not so much confounded as embarrassed.

The Telegraph featured this commentary by David Leadbetter, who writes:

But in its structure, the American golf system is simply not set up for these grand team events. Even at junior level, the focus is overwhelmingly on individual scores, rather than team dynamics. An event such as the Ryder Cup, squeezed into an already tight schedule, is almost a nuisance to them.

Douglas Lowe looks at Tom Lehman's dismissive response to the idea of adding Canada and South America to the U.S. Ryder Cup equation.

I'm not so sure. Lorena Ochoa might be an upgrade?

Martin Johnson approached the same topic but also covered Woosie's celebratory cleansing:

In the battle of the captains, Ian Woosnam had the easier job because he had the better players, and it was no great surprise when the Ryder Cup went to a bloke who wasn't much taller than the trophy itself. After spending months practising his speeches in front of the bedroom mirror, one of golf's great bon viveurs had promised himself a small libation at the end of it all, but we didn't think this would involve an attempt to down an entire jeroboam of champagne in one herculean swig.

The end result was a blowback of such Vesuvian proportions that the eruption of escaping champagne flew out of every visible orifice bar Woosie's ears.

Back to the state of U.S. golf, Thomas Boswell in the Washington Post:

Lehman insisted that his players were "prepared" and played "their best" with "heart and courage." Because it's presumably true, that only makes these back-to-back 18 1/2 -9 1/2 scores more damaging to the PGA Tour's reputation. Asked if more such wipeouts might send this mega-money-making event "back in the other direction" toward lessened popularity, Lehman said: "That sounds a little insulting. . . . Things have cycles. There will be a time when we'll be sitting here saying to the Europeans, 'Is this [event] in danger of becoming a little bit in trouble because the American team is on top?'

"That will happen."

Image buffs, SI's shots from Sunday are here, Golf Digest's here. Golfonline's do not feature a direct link.

Oh, and it was an unnamed photographer from Getty Images who captured the shot of Stevie losing Tiger's 9-iron. Nice work Stevie!

Rob Hodgett on the BBC blog analyzes the Dublin comedy festival that broke out during the Euro press conference. I think it's one of those "you had to be there" deals. It did seem funnier on TV.

The Chicago Tribune's Ed Sherman looks ahead to 2012, yes, 2012 and Medinah, forecasting the U.S. roster for those matches. 

Here's a guess at the makeup of the U.S. squad at Medinah:

Captain: Davis Love III. The six-time Ryder Cup player will get his shot.
Woods: Might have 21 majors by then.
Furyk: Will he still be paired with Woods?
Chad Campbell: Looks to be a U.S. fixture.
Zach Johnson: Performed well as a rookie in 2006.
Vaughn Taylor: Fellow players are very high on him.
Ryan Moore: Expect him to be a star.
Ben Curtis: Proved that 2003 British Open victory wasn't a fluke.
Lucas Glover: Big hitter could make Ryder debut in 2008.
Sean O'Hair: A load of potential that should be fulfilled.
J.B. Holmes: Long hitter could be a Ryder Cup force.
Captain's picks:
Mickelson: Star sliding, but Love still takes him.
Michelle Wie: She couldn't do any worse than her predecessors.

Mark Garrod confirms that Phil Mickelson is not playing in this week's AmEx event in England.

And finally, Hodgetts at the BBC blog has the quotes of the final day.

Why Is This Enjoyable?

I admired the U.S. team players, our captain and their sportsmanship throughout the matches.

Yet, why is it that I and (a surprising number of) Americans derive just a wee bit of pleasure watching the U.S. Ryder Cup team lose?

Is it the notion that these losses reinforce the unsophisticated nature of American golf, where one-dimensional formats, setups and courses seem to render even our best players vulnerable in Ryder Cup match play settings?

Obviously part of this had to do with Darren Clarke's amazing play and emotional comeback.

But no, it's something else. Please help.

Ryder Cup Clippings, Sunday Edition

One more day before we get to spend the next two years hearing about the U.S. team's efforts to build a stronger bond. Or maybe we'll get lucky and Captain Paul Azinger will just tell them to make more putts.

In the meantime, there are still 12 points up for grabs Sunday and anything can happen. Well, not if you ask the world's great inkslingers.

John Huggan offers capsules of Sunday's singles matches, which will probably be underway by the time you are reading this.  He also looks at Sergio's epic Ryder Cup play.

Chris Lewis is a guest contributor at the Scotsman's Sunday edition and he's trying to figure out how it came to be that the American rookies played great while the stars fizzled.

Doug Ferguson offers these capsules of Saturday's matches.

For photo buffs, Golf Digest offers these images while Golfonline's best stuff from day 2 is posted here.

Golfweek's Alistair Tait is already declaring Ian Woosnam the superior captain for not screwing this up while Golf World's John Hawkins has already begun to figure out where it all went wrong.

The European Tour's George O' Grady is already assuring everyone that there will be plenty of nearby parking at Celtic Manor in Wales. Boy it must be bad at The K Club!

The Principal says the combination of monsoons and helicopters constantly flying in and out made The K Club feel more like Vietnam circa 1968 than Ireland. Incidentally, Arnold Palmer cited the impressive helicopter operation when talking on NBC about what a great job the Irish are doing this week.

Gee, I wonder how Arnie's getting to the course?

Speaking of Palmer, it seems he was charged he played Bandon Dunes recently, the first time since he was 17!  Thanks to reader Van for this from David Davies in the Telegraph:

Arnold Palmer, who designed this Ryder Cup course, earned a special tribute in Ian Woosnam's opening ceremony speech.

"He's been an inspiration to us all... a legend," Woosie said. Arnie is a famous face among sporting personalities in America, except, it seems, at the Bandon Dunes resort in Oregon. He arrived to have a look at the course which recently hosted the Curtis Cup and, on deciding to play, was asked: "How would you like to pay for this?" One credit card imprint later and Palmer, 77, remarked wryly to friends: "That's the first time I've paid to play golf since I was 17."

The Golfweek crew chimes in with various blog observations on Saturday's play.

Marina Hyde in The Guardian looks at Tom Lehman and his WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) bracelet along with other religious elements of his captaincy.

And finally, the BBC blog's Rob Hodgetts offers the best quotes of the day on the BBC blog.

Sunday Singles Set

Hard to get excited about some of these Sunday singles matches.

Perhaps that bodes well for the final day. Boring on paper, exciting on the ground? Let's hope so. I'm rising at 4 a.m. for this. Well, scratch that. Thanks to TiVo, make that 5:30. I'll be caught up by six at this commercial-break pace. 

11:15AM      Montgomerie (EUR) vs. Toms (US)
11:27AM     Garcia (EUR) vs. Cink (US)
11:39AM     Casey (EUR) vs. Furyk (US)
11:51AM     Karlsson (EUR) vs. Woods (US)
12:03PM     Donald (EUR) vs. Campbell (US)
12:15PM     McGinley (EUR) vs. Henry (US)
12:27PM     Clarke (EUR) vs. Johnson (US)
12:39PM     Stenson (EUR) vs. Taylor (US)
12:51PM     Howell (EUR) vs. Wetterich (US)
1:03PM     Olazábal (EUR) vs. Mickelson (US)
1:15PM     Westwood (EUR) vs. DiMarco (US)
1:27PM     Harrington (EUR) vs. Verplank (US)

Let The Second Guessing Begin?

For us here in the States who are 3 hours behind, NBC's Dan Hicks just raised the question of whether Phil Mickelson should be playing in Saturday afternoon's foursomes.

Johnny Miller responded that he questioned whether Mickelson or Tiger Woods should go out in the afternoon based on their play in this Ryder Cup and in previous Cups.

Well, we know they are both going out in the afternoon. (Warning, spoiler link!)

Does Tom Lehman really have any choice?

I don't believe there is any scenario other than injury where you can't sit Woods.

But I've been wondering since yesterday why Mickelson, who has admitted being tired and ready to shut down for the year, is playing more than one match a day?

Update on 2006-09-23 18:34 by Geoff

From Lehman's post-morning play press chat:

Q. There was some speculation that Tiger may not play in foursomes because he was quite poor this morning. Was that ever on the agenda?

CAPTAIN TOM LEHMAN: I don't know how you can ever sit down the best player in the world. I think we had to go with the guys who are playing the very best. Vaughn Taylor is a great, great putter, and in this format he should be really good.

Ryder Cup Clippings, Saturday Edition

Did anyone have some pot bunkers stolen? Well, I've found them. They're on the 18th at The K Club. They fell out of the thieves' truck? Nice job matching the existing hazards.

Oh, and love the tree planting on 17. They have that neo-postmodern Ray Charles thing going for them.

Anyway, they didn't bug Monty, who Mike Aitken reports has been left out of the Saturday morning four-ball despite fine play on Friday.

The media coverage theme is fairly consistent: even with the 5-3 score, the consensus seems to be that the U.S. is in deep trouble. Such cynics!

Lawrence Donegan says Woosie must be pleased with Sergio.

What he will also take over the next two days is more of the same from García, who was magnificent in tandem with his compatriot José María Olazábal as they swept aside David Toms and Brett Wetterich in the morning and equally dazzling as he and Luke Donald defeated the Americans' star pairing of Woods and Jim Furyk in the afternoon foursomes.

Doug Ferguson declares the opening day matches to be the "tightest" in Ryder Cup history

James Lawton says Tiger is a loner and like Bill Macatee hinted today on the telecast, maybe all of this bonding stuff is taking him out of his game.

Woods has a 12-0 lead on Garcia in the majors, but the 26-year-old Spaniard puts on a cape at the Ryder Cup. Garcia is now 12-3-2 in the Ryder Cup, compared with Woods' 8-12-2 record.

The truth is that apart from the odd bolt from the sky, the occasional shot of absolute brilliance, almost everything in the Ryder Cup comes hard to Tiger Woods.

Heaven knows he has tried selflessly enough this time, stopping just short of wrapping himself in the Stars and Stripes and dancing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle-Dandy". In fact he was persuaded the other night to sing his old college song at a team meeting. He has taken rookies out to dinner, he has attempted to "bond" like an eager undergraduate. But always he looks just a little uncomfortable. He is doing something that, however admirable, may not be entirely prompted by his nature, and maybe still less his heart.

As the blue of Europe began to spread all over the scoreboard here, there were times when Tiger looked so out of sorts and out of place he might have been Keith Richards finding himself at the Last Night of the Proms.

The press room highlight of the day, from Sergio:

Q. Estaba hoy tu mejor día del año en golf? (Question in Spanish.)

LUKE DONALD: I'll take this one. (Laughter).

SERGIO GARCIA: Sorry, he's just been telling me that I've been playing shit. And I'm trying to make him realise I've been having a decent summer. (Laughter).

Gary Van Sickle writes:

Yes, the opening day of the 36th Ryder Cup was same-old same-old stuff. The Europeans have the hot players and look like the better team. The Americans' big guns are strangely silent and their players look like the underdogs that they have legitimately become. Captain Tom Lehman stressed that this time the Americans were going to have fun at the Ryder Cup. They're losing, 5-3, after a day in which they managed to win only one of eight matches (and that was the very first one). Fun was hard to come by.

He then outlines three reasons why things don't bode well for the Americans.

John Hawkins could not believe that J.J. Henry wasn't not out there in the afternoon, and you can't blame him for wondering.

Here's what Lehman said about Henry:

Q. Did you at all think about putting J.J. back out in the afternoon as well as he played in the morning? Was that a consideration?

CAPTAIN TOM LEHMAN: Absolutely. J.J. is playing great golf, no question about it.

The partnership that he has with Stewart Cink I think is really, really good. In the alternate shot format, however, Stewart and David Toms play great together as well, and David is such a phenomenal putter. There's just a way things can go out there where one guy can be doing a lot of putting, and David, he's such an excellent putter is the reason why we put those two together. Not to say that J.J. can't putt, just that I think David is one of the best that we have.

Image buffs can check out some day 1 shots from SI and Golfonline.

Thanks to reader Mark for this audio clip features Greg Turner talking about The K Club.

Mike Baker in the The Guardian shares some fun notes from day 1

Here's a little more on the big bets placed on the Cup.

Matt Slater on the BBC blog compiles a great list of the days best quotes.

A Few Mid-Friday Clippings

Just a moment ago...while we were away...sorry, just brushing up on my announcing skills.

Since some us on the West Coast are still watching the four-ball matches as play has actually concluded, I offer up a few suggested stories without (hopefully) giving too much away about the results.

Oh, and I love the bright yellow billboards and Rolex clocks around the tees. So understated and subtle.

Damon Hack offers a short and sweet NY Times summary of day one.

Doug Ferguson serves up capsules of the morning matches.

Norman Dabell on Tiger's play today.

The Principal has some fun with Chris DiMarco's fist pumping. He also notes the pitiful pace of play during morning play.

Dave Seanor reports on Saturday morning's pairings, which include one rematch.

Sporting Life compiles key quotes from the day. 

For those of you able to watch, any thoughts on day 1 play? 

Ryder Cup Clippings, Thursday Edition

Poor Johnny is already backing off his statements from last week. The link includes other pre-match notes.

Lawrence Donegan analyzes the omission of Donald and Howell from the morning four-ball.  

But who would have guessed that Woosnam would have left out Luke Donald and David Howell, two of his three highest-ranked players?

The word from inside the European camp was that Donald does hit the ball far enough, but this is a drawback on a rain-sodden course that is playing far longer than its 7,335 yards, and Howell, who has been suffering the effects of a back injury for months, is simply not playing well enough. Of course Europe's captain, who has become a dab hand in the art of spin over the past few days, put it a lot more diplomatically. "Luke and David are going to blend beautifully in the foursomes. Really. They look great together. Or they could play with anybody," he said with a straight face. Any more of this and Woosie might find himself with a starring role in The Thick of It.

Alan Shipnuck senses there is an edge to the proceedings already.

The players and captains have taken great pains to be diplomatic, and there is no question that the outpouring of affection and empathy for Darren Clarke is genuine. But all the long run-up to Friday's start of play has been defined by the ugliness of the press coverage. Factor in the specter of a repeat of the deplorable fan behavior at the British Open along with the bad mojo in the European team room, which may yet go public, and suddenly this Ryder Cup is looking like it might be the juiciest since the War by the Shore in 1991.

Sam Bob Torrance tells Mike Aitken that Europe should win easily, and sounds a tad petty...

"You should be saying how many are we going to win by, not are we going to win it?" he grinned. "I definitely think Europe will win. First of all the greens are very slow. Secondly, the fairways are quite hairy, and they are wide. It's a tough course, but the Americans don't have hairy fairways and hairy greens. That's what Sam did at the Belfry. He got the greenkeepers to raise the cutters on the greens."

Wow, that's something to brag about!

 
John Hawkins reassures us that his hotel shower has good pressure while offering a few predictions on the morning four-ball matches.

GolfDigest.com posted photos from the opening ceremonies in case you want to relive the pageantry.

John Huggan analyzes how the soft, windy and slow conditions will impact play, besides the obvious goofiness of it all.

Peter Kessler writes about the Ryder Cup's early days. You know, back when Great Britain need the rest of Europe's help to win.

The Principal shares a few fun thoughts on the Opening Ceremony.

Tim Carroll in the WSJ looks at the gimme's role in the Ryder Cup. Thanks to reader John for this.

SI.com has photos of wives, life partners and Greg Norman's daughter.

And finally, some sucker, err, "A bettor has staked $465,100 on the United States to win the Ryder Cup -- the biggest bet in golfing history.

It'll Be Live...Online!

It's not like I was going to get up at 5 am to watch tape delayed Ryder Cup action anyway since I can get up at 6 and be caught up fast forwarding through commercials by 7, but in case any of my fellow Americans have insomnia and want to watch live at 12 a.m. Pacific or 3 a.m EST...

Turner Sports, an industry leader in televised sports programming, today announced an agreement with NBC Sports, the broadcast home of the Ryder Cup, to produce and distribute online streaming video content for the 2006 Ryder Cup tournament.  On Friday, September 22, fans will be able to watch NBC’s live streaming coverage of match play from 3 - 11a.m. (ET), as well as subsequent video highlights, pre and post-round press conferences, and live scoring throughout the remainder of the tournament on Turner’s RyderCup.com website.  Jennifer Mills of PGA TOUR Sunday on USA Network will provide interviews and analysis.

“This deal combines the excitement of the Ryder Cup and NBC Sports’ outstanding product with Turner’s unrivaled experience in seamlessly distributing online sporting events to fans,” said Lenny Daniels, senior vice president of sports production and new media for Turner Sports.  “Both consumers and the sports world have acknowledged the value of video on the Internet as a resource for viewing sporting events, whether at home, at work, or on the go.  We’re happy to continue to provide compelling, robust online content that sports fans continue to crave.”

Key words in the money quote: at work...

In addition to the featured streaming video, fans will be able to access live audio coverage of match play from Friday, September 22 through Sunday, September 24.  Also, fans will have access to message boards where they can post messages for members of both Team USA and Team Europe.

Turner Sports New Media (TSNM), a leading digital interactive sports media organization and a division of Turner Sports, has the Internet rights to the 2006 Ryder Cup which allows them to manage, produce and host the 2006 Ryder Cup Web site.

Why are they just announcing this now? 

Opening Ceremony Live Blog

7:32 - Oh this looks promising, it's not raining, we have weird characters dressed in costumes, big balloons, bombastic music and a stage setup eerily similar to the Hollywood Bowl. Let the absurdity begin! (All times Pacific.)

7:34 - Okay this music is still going and the we're just watching a bunch of people running around with these balloons. They must be a metaphor for something. 

7:35 - Some hot babe named Ni Bheolain is master of ceremonies. Definitely a step up from Samuel L. Jackson and his newsboy cap.

7:38 - We see the Ryder Cup on the grand stage. It's uh, tiny. Oh, Bheloain just mentioned all of the great links courses they have in Ireland. Too bad we won't see one of them this week.

7:42 - Uh oh, a piper is coming out. I suppose this is where we'd bring out a baton twirler in the U.S., so I won't complain.

7:46 - That piper was way too classy.

7:51 - Let the boring speeches begin. Starting with Phil Weaver of the European PGA. He's glued to his script. This doesn't bode well for Woosie getting to read off of a teleprompter.

7:53 - Former captains are introduced, including the legendary Bernard Hunt and then, the King, Arnold Palmer who no one seems to know where he is. Ooops! Arnold wasn't there? Maybe he had to pee.

7:55 - Here comes the new agey Celtic music, complete with guys wearing tank tops who shouldn't wear tank tops. Where's John Tesh when you need him?

7:58 - The Euro spouses, including Mrs. Woosnam are up and dancing to this stuff, the American wives reluctantly are standing and clapping. Mrs. Lehman included.

7:59 - Bathroom break time, PGA of America's Roger Warren is speaking! Lukewarm applause greets him. Wait, he's either memorized his speech or has a prompter. Good news for Woosie!?

8:03 - Warren wraps it up, finally. Says this week will perpetuate the values of the game.  Let's hope.

8:05 - Introducing former Irish Ryder Cup players. We saw two of them I think. Stellar camera work. Who let the BBC in?

8:07 - Here comes the dance "extravaganza" according to this Ni gal from the Star Trek Enterprise. Oh we have smoke, we have monks, we see people showing their dirty feet and more new age music.  It's no Riverdance. It's worse.

8:12 - Oh no, there's a giant horse with someone on top humping it with flags waving, all set to Celtic hyms. Thank God the children are in school for this. 

8:15 - Executives from the Tours are present in matching suits, so glad they spent money on that. Tim Finchem is muttering to Joe Steranka, "boy we have work to do for the President's Cup opening ceremony. Think we can get Celine for Montreal next year?" 

8:16 - The teams arrive on stage, the Euros going open collar in lime green jackets, the U.S. in their Price Waterhouse suits. The look like Irish pimps in Miami Beach. The Euro team, that is.

8:24 - We wrap up the national anthems and the awkward shots of players and wives trying to sing along to super fast versions. 

8:25 - Uh oh, Captain's speech time. Woosie's Depends are getting some action. But Lehman's first.

8:26 - Lehman's already choked up. He wishes Woosie and the Euros good luck. Woosie looks like he's in pain!!!  

8:30 - And now it's time for the speech he's been working on since February...Ian Woosnam. Wait, the podium is taller than Ian. Someone get a phone book! Oh he's a wreck. "They say it could be over a billion" and he's referring to the size of the audience. Right! Just like the Academy Awards.

8:32 - Did Woosie just say Ireland is famous for its crack? His dye job looks great.

8:32 - We're paying tribute to Arnold Palmer...and again, we have no camera shot of him! Where is The King??? 

8:34 - Woosie has stopped stuttering and is in a groove..wait, he just said Walter Reagan. Oops. Hagen.

8:35 - He's stuttering all over the part about upholding the traditions of the game...not a good sign.

8:37 - Woosie butchers the player intros..going out of order. Nice touch. Keeps 'em on their toes. 

8:38 - Pairings announced, Furyk and Woods vs. Harrington and Monty in the first group.  Cink and Henry vs. Casey and Karlsson. Third  match, Toms and Wetterich vs. Garcia and Olazabal. And finally, Mickelson and DiMarco vs. Clarke and Westwood.

8:41 - Wow, this is a fast ceremony. We would only be on the third bad musical act here in the States!  Wait, uh oh. Here come the great pagan gods playing prehistoric golf. "Let the golf party begin" says the Star Trek gal.

8:43 - Large bubbles with people in them are rolling off the stage. Or Lordy. And they are have jugglers dressed as caveman inside the balls juggling bowling pins!! Take that David Wolper! Meanwhile on the stage, an Irish ho-down has broken out, with men and women in plus fours dancing and swinging golf clubs to really music. The sky is darkening and the wind is up. Gee I wonder why. 

8:47 - It's over...an expensive bubble cover is enclosing the band and won't reopen until the closing ceremony...they're leaving in droves as the Ryder Cup anthem is played. Well, they get points for keeping it short and sweet!

8:48 - Lerner and Nobilo are here, raving about the weather and the thoroughly Irish ceremony.  "What a cracker that is," Nobilo says of the opening match.

8:54 - It's over. No U2 (they got stuck in the epic traffic), no Van Morrisson and no Riverdance.  But a couple of killer matches scheduled starting at 3 a.m. EST. Thank God for TiVo.

Opening Ceremonies Warning: Live Blog

Dave Seanor gives us an idea what to expect for tomorrow's Opening Ceremony, which will aspire to outdo the disaster at Oakland Hills, thus putting me into live blog mode here starting at at 7:30 a.m. Pacific time (at least that's when it comes on The Golf Channel).

Essential Information Dept.: Media briefing notes on the Sept. 21 opening ceremony include . . .

• "It will deliver the visual impact which one would typically associate with the opening of the Olympics."

• "Efforts have been concentrated on creating a visual and aural spectacle."

• "What are we trying to achieve? Establish the benchmark against which all future opening ceremonies and host nations of the Ryder cup will be judged."

Why do I have the funny feeling that the Van Morrison performance they got at the Gala Dinner will not be reported for the public ceremony?  That's right, the public wants to be tortured. I still say Michael Flatley will come spinning out!

Ryder Cup Clippings, Thursday Edition

Bonding boys gone wild took an ugly turn Wednesday. Doug Ferguson reports on the latest example of Tom Lehman taking this team building bonding stuff perhaps a step too far.

Lehman fulfilled a prediction he made in February by creating what was believed to be the first "twelvesome" game in Ryder Cup history, his entire team playing nine holes on a gray, miserable afternoon.

But there was a twist.

They worked on their short game, starting each hole from about 120 yards away. The gallery wasn't aware of this, so when Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and the rest of the Americans walked from the fourth green, past the fifth tee and kept marching down the middle of the fairway, the Ryder Cup got its first dose of booing.

"You don't give a damn about Ireland's public," shouted one man behind the tee, and hundreds of others nodded.

Another man asked Jim Furyk to stop for a picture. He walked over to man's wife, put his arm on her shoulder and posed with a smile.

Walking back toward the fairway, Furyk said, "I guess we're just the ugly Americans."

Lehman later asked for a mulligan.

He realized his squad should have performed at least on the first tee, where the grandstands were packed with people. And when he caught up with his team on the seventh hole, he told them to tee off on No. 9, the only drives they hit all day.

Lawrence Donegan covers the Wednesday events, including Tiger's understandable frustration and Lehman's 150-yards and in stunt.

Another way would be to say it was a chaotic and half-hearted exercise which resembled the kind of self-indulgent knockabout dreamed up after one too many gins and tonics in the bar at the country club.

Somehow I don't think Coach Wooden suggested this idea, or this one reported by Steve Elling today, which apparently was also reported last week. 

Will Barnes polled various writers including yours truly, asking for a predicted outcome, score and comment.

Helen Ross reports on the latest weather related headaches, ranging from today's winds, to Friday's lousy forecast to the possibility of "preferred lies." (Insert your own snarky comment here about Portmarnock weather.)

Mike Aitken raises the dreaded possibility of a Monday finish.

Louisa Nesbit explains how the tight security is working and lack of alcohol sales on site (so can we end the Guiness jokes?).

Mike Vitti uses ShotLink to create some "balanced" pairings.

Lewis Mair writes about the Ryder Cup going from a friendly game to a monster.

In 1927, it took the Great Britain and Ireland team six days to get to America by boat, and they wouldn't have got there at all but for the cash raised from a reader appeal in Golf Illustrated magazine. Three weeks ago, by way of contrast, the Americans stumped up £250,000 simply to pop over for a pre-tournament reconnaisance mission.

There is a check point on every street corner, and it will be a surprise if this year's matches are not accompanied by an armoured troop carrier and a SWAT team. One of the more ludicrous by-products of the suffocating security has been to make the nearest town to the K Club more or less impenetrable other than to the people who actually live there, and the local priest has complained that half his congregation will have to find somewhere else to attend mass.

It will be a relief to everyone when they start playing instead of talking.

The interviews are endless, and, with both teams professing to be closer than Siamese twins, endlessly predictable. "We're having an absolute blast," said Tiger yesterday, before adding mysteriously: "but I'm not going to tell you what we do." Immediately afterwards, though, new boy Vaughn Taylor let the cat out of the bag by revealing that they've all being playing "ping-pong" in the team room, which is not quite your average Irishman's idea of "having a blast".

Careless talk costs points, and Europe will already be planning bingo and shove halfpenny sessions to counteract this cunning American plan.

If there is anything guaranteed to survive all this nonsense, it is Ireland's legendary hospitality. A journalist sitting in a cab looking for his remote B & B accommodation down a series of unsignposted pitch-black country lanes on Monday night was beginning to despair of ever finding it when his driver said to him: "Don't you go worrying yourself now. If we don't find the place soon, I'll phone the wife and have the spare room made up for you."

Sal Johnson compares the monster to his first Ryder Cup in 1979 at the Greenbrier.

Sergio denies making any comment about Tiger and the Ryder Cup..."not even in the team room" where we were too busy bashing Monty. Just kidding.

Rex Hoggard reports that the one-ball rule is out, so we don't have to hear too much talk about players making those really, really tough adjustments.

Joe Passov sticks up for the K Club, joining, well, he sticks up for the K Club.

Since Golf Digest fashion guru Marty Hackel has been silent, Charlie Potter of GQ offers this bizarre take on the U.S. team's Sherlock Holmes outfits:

Before they stepped off the plane for the team photo that resulted in so much humiliation, the American captain Tom Lehman must have been pretty pleased with his choices. They are playing in Ireland, a country known for its tweeds. He has publicly promised his team that they will have fun in the run-up to the tournament on Friday and what better way to do so than in a tank-top? This was before they landed to face the media of a country that only accepts one view of male fashion. Britain seems interested only in men who dress badly.

It is strange how sport continues to insist on the ritual of the uniform for big events, a choice that inevitably leads to lambasting. It's like Miss World: here's the multi-buttoned, uncomfortably coloured blazer round; next up - cagoules; for bonus points, here come the Wags!

Whatever these sportsmen opt to wear, the clothing is then used to emasculate the players, because, after all, caring about clothing is the least red-blooded thing a man can do. To prove your virility, you have to mock. So sport continues to trap itself in these old cycles of machismo. You do something well? Quick, debag him. Anything but be seen to appreciate masculinity.

After yet another intensely lame post about the amount of Guiness they've been drinking, the Golfweek blog has all sorts of great stuff, starting with Jeff Babineau reporting on the Gala Dinner and yes, amazingly, the news that the reclusive legend Van Morrison performed.

I wonder if anyone on the U.S. team knows who he is?

And finally, Rich Lerner offers all sorts of fun notes from The K Club, including this:

Lehman’s charges will watch a video that includes scenes from Patton, Hoosiers, Miracle, and Grapes of Wrath and Gladiator. Just a thought, but given that the U.S. has appeared, in the words of Jim Furyk, constipated at times, could a Three Stooges episode hurt? 

I just want to know, will it include John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar?" 

Tiger's Ryder Cup Press Conference

He opened with an opening statement regarding the obviously bogus photo and story purported to be about his wife, and then, a rally killer stepped in.

TIGER WOODS: Well, first of all, if you don't mind, I'll answer that second.

I just want to make an opening statement real quick. That, you know, for me personally, and for my wife, things that have occurred over here, I'm very disappointed, not the fans, not the people here, not the Irish people. But very disappointed in how the article that was written, my wife, yes, she has been a model prior and she did do some bikini photos. But to link her to porn websites and such is unacceptable, and I do not accept that at all. Neither does our team. And I just want to say that that doesn't deter or detract from the beauty of this event.

The people here have been absolutely fantastic. Irish people have come out and supported us, and Europeans, I just want to say, sometimes you shouldn't let I know the media can be a little bit difficult at times, but when you it's hard to be very diplomatic about this when you have so much emotion involved, when my wife is involved like this. I just hope that it was the right thing to do, and overall, as I said, I don't want that to deter from the beauty of this event.

We as a team have come together, we have bonded, it's been an absolutely fantastic week and have had such a great time here. Hospitality has been absolutely fantastic. Last week, as Gordon said, we were watching Chelsea Liverpool football match, first football match I've ever been to, quite an experience, quite a bit of singing. We don't do that in American football, that's for sure. So that was a new experience. And as I said, had an absolutely fantastic time this entire week. That was the last I'll say about that.

GORDON SIMPSON: Thank you very much.

Q. Ian Woosnam was in here and talking about if the weather stays as it is now and gets worse, that should play in favour of The European Team. What are your thoughts about that?

Now I know he said that was the last he would say about the subject, but of course it wasn't. Does that first question deserve a place in our rally killer of the year sweepstakes? I think so.

Doesn't this make you pray for a Tiger-Sergio singles pairing:

Q. A couple of things, Tiger. We know what your record is in these Matches. A, does it bother you what it is, or has it bothered you more now than it has a couple years ago; and B, Sergio some comments in Switzerland a few weeks ago and that your record is not very good and he looks forward to playing you three or four times. Do those comments annoy you?

TIGER WOODS: It's disappointing, I haven't won points on the Cups that I've been on to win points for my team. I've always felt it's a two point swing; winning a point, losing a point, it feels like it's two points going the wrong way. And unfortunately I've gone on the wrong end of it too many times. It's frustrating because you feel like you've not only let yourself down but you've let your teammate down that your playing with, your partner, as well as your teammates that are trying to win this Cup for our captain and our country. It's very disappointing.

As far as the Sergio comments, hopefully we can get together out there and play.

And now for the dumbest question o' the day.

Q. I read this morning that Team USA has been having a good old fashioned sing song and a couple of pints of Guinness?

TIGER WOODS: Say again, this morning we were drinking? You or us?

Nice comeback Tiger!

Here's today's chilliest exchange (at least, on paper):

Q. Do you feel that you intimidate your own playing partners at all, especially in the foursomes?

TIGER WOODS: No.

Q. No?

TIGER WOODS: No.

I take that back, the follow up, was the worst question of the day.

Another Ryder Cup Blog

I've reluctantly posted a link to Golfweek's blog, not because of lines like this from from Alistair Tait:

No visitor worth his or her salt would fly to Ireland to play the K Club. Not at the prices the good doctor is charging (around $500 a round).

No, it's posts like this that make me hesistant:

Golfweek staff Guinness count for the week: 9

What's next, a tour of Golfweek's rental for the week?

Update on 2006-09-20 15:46 by Geoff

I've also added the Principal's Nose blog since it appears to be a writer on-site following the antics matches. Check out his post on the WWJD bracelets spotted on the Americans.