“Maybe Tom did this course before his eye operation.”

Just when the doctor cleared me to watch a CBS telecast the rest of the year (only two more!), he advised against listening to the fawning over Liberty National and suggested I not view anything featuring divot swarm-decorated catch basins, faux creeks or fairways lined by containment mounds. 

So there I was during an accidental Golf Channel moment today catching David Feherty in full dry hump mode, declaring his admiration for the course. (Perhaps to make up for Nick Faldo, who apparently was less kind. Why couldn't I have been watching then?)

But after reviewing a few stories this evening, it's become clear that this week's visit to the Bob Cupp-Tom Kite masterwork has awakened the average PGA Tour player's inner sense of humor, usually buried under threats of a Sid Wilson driving range visit.

Granted, we only a know who a few of the culprits are, but how can you not enjoy these gems?

Adam Schupak reporting Robert Allenby's post round remarks:

“I really don’t know how to answer that in the right way, because I could really could get myself into a lot of trouble.”

“They set it up very well,” he added, “That’s as good as I can go on the course.”

That's just an appetizer. It gets better.

John Hawkins suggests that the PGA Tour's deal with Liberty National "was built on something other than the best interests of the competitive standard" and features these beauties:

Even those who consider Liberty National unfit for a tour event, much less a tournament of this magnitude, are blown away by the aesthetics. "It's like this beautiful birthday cake you bring into the room and slice into pieces, everyone takes a bite and realizes there's [bleep] inside," is how one player put it, a quote that earned the award for creative criticism of the day among the two dozen or so tour pros and caddies I spoke with Wednesday.

"If it was a fish, I'd throw it back," picked up second place, and though neither player is likely to have made those statements on the record about any course, the tour's sensitivities are particularly high this week. So high that Camp Ponte Vedra has asked those in the field not to make any negative public statements about the design, a Bob Cupp-Tom Kite collaboration with small, very severe greens.

Steve Elling takes the temperature of players and comes away with these gems:

Said one prominent player: "I guess $250 million doesn't buy what it used to."

And this...

Even the kindest players have struggled mightily to say something positive. Said Zach Johnson, who ranks third in FedEx Cup points, when asked for a comment on the track: "I am not your guy."

Ah but the best involves Tiger, found by Ian O'Connor:

According to Sanjay Jha, a Motorola executive and one of three amateurs who played with Woods on Wednesday, Tiger took time out of their five-hour loop to joke, “Maybe Tom did this course before his eye operation.”

And after sharing some anecdotes about Tiger's respectful pro-am conversation, O'Connor writes:

Tiger shared some stories, shared some laughs. But when he surveyed the course, Woods looked about as happy as a Mets executive reviewing the disabled list.

Finally there was this...

So Tiger had a little fun at Kite’s expense. When Jha started relaying the line to a reporter, Lauer tried to cut him off. “I don’t think you should repeat it,” the Qualcomm guy told the Motorola guy.

Jha couldn’t help himself. By sharing an inside-the-ropes joke, he humanized the red-shirted automaton bent on world domination and inspired this singular question:

Can Tiger Woods conquer a course he can’t stand?

The answer will be in by the Sunday evening news.