Inevitable: First Column Suggesting Captain Ollie Is No Monty!

And the prize goes to The Daily Mail's Malcolm Folley, who will receive an exclusive one-on-one with self-presumed 2014 Ryder Cup Captain Colin Montgomerie as long as he doesn't ask about, well that you know, that thing.

Olazabal failed to generate the response he had hoped for until the end of a momentous day. Yet Davis Love III’s men need just 4½ more points to reclaim the trophy.

Olazabal’s captaincy of the European team is unlikely to be regaled in tales of wonder. For when the story of the 39th Ryder Cup is retold, we will think of Americans Keegan Bradley, Bubba Watson, Webb Simpson, Zach Johnson and the ageless Phil Mickelson burying the reputations of the finest golfers from the other side of the Atlantic beneath the first fall of leaves at the Medinah Country Club.

We will struggle to understand how Olazabal had been unable to galvanise such renowned players as McIlroy, Donald, Lee Westwood, McDowell, Garcia and Justin Rose into offering greater resistance.

‘It’s a crisis now,’ said Colin Montgomerie, who proved a shrewd captain of Europe at Celtic Manor two years ago. ‘Our players haven’t performed to their ability and that’s why the gap has widened all the time.’